Dissapointments

When I was young my parents took my sisters and I to a lot of weddings.  I don’t remember a lot about the decor or the food but what I do remember are the people.  Most especially all of the couples.  Not just the couples that were getting married but those that already were.  It seemed to me that almost every couple met at the altar so in love and so happy and only a few years after this joyous occasion they melted into these other couples who could hardly talk to each other, who never held hands, who rarely kissed.  It was heart breaking.  I promised myself a different kind of love.  A holding hand, frequent kisses, smiling all the time-kind of love.  I promised not to settle for anything less.  Thankfully Mr. Wonderful and I are incredibly close to my little girl fantasy.

But life is full of disappointments, usually brought about by others.  We invest so much in other people, especially those we love and when they fail to be perfect we can’t understand why.  Mostly these disappointments are just honest mistakes and miscommunications, but other times it can be much worse.  A terrible childhood, or abuse, or depression.  It’s so hard to look at a person and understand why they make the choices they do, why they fail to see the world as it truly is.  But in the end we all have something that has happened  to us that makes us just slightly different than our neighbor, our friend, our parents.  For me…it’s a lot of things, things that are hard to get over but that I’m still working on.

In the end life isn’t perfect, it’s hard and at times unforgiving and extremely confusing.  People hurt us and we hurt others.  What I have learned though is that we make choices everyday.  We make the choice to be different than our pasts or to wallow in them, we make the choice to work harder or to be lazy, we make the choice to follow God or to deny him, and we make the choice to love (albeit imperfectly) and allow ourselves to be loved (imperfectly) or to look at others and deny them and ourselves a chance to love and be loved.

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