The Life We Choose

During a recent conversation with my mother the topic of our lives came up. Specifically about finding ways to maintain who we are. She became a mother and wife at the age of 19 and has had five children. She talked about finally having a sense of self after we all left home and how before with so many children in the home there wasn’t time for anything else.

For so long that was a woman’s duty to stay at home and raise the children. It is a calling to which we are wonderfully suited. Now according to popular belief you can have it all: a career, husband, a social life, and a family. But the demands never lessen. When I married Mr. Wonderful I was acutely aware of the decision I was making and what it would entail. I spent my last semester of college with a newborn. Fortunately babies sleep and when you have to get work done and you have no other time to do it you tend to work much more efficiently.

And today when I feel as if I have no time to breathe I calmly ask for a break and I take one. This blog as well as the chandeliers have been wonderful outlets to express myself and to create.

So often we hear other women complain that they are more than so and so’s wife and more than their children’s mother. This is certainly true. But how others perceive us should not dictate how we perceive ourselves. In Mr. Wonderful’s work environment I am his wife. They know him better than they know me and I am fine with that. We play so many different roles in life and not all of them afford us the front row seat to show off our talents. Our work often goes unnoticed by others. That however does not mean it is unappreciated. There is no shame in being a wife and mother. There is no shame in choosing that path. In the end that is how we will be remembered. For the relationships we cultivated throughout life and most especially those with our family.

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